Anxiety: The Elephant in the Room
Something I have been tracking for a while in my own experience is how I am affected by technology. Specifically my phone. I’ve actually never had a very good relationship with it. I have gone many stints with trying out dumb phones, smart dumb phones, and no phone at all. Unfortunately all of those experiments ended up backfiring. I tried the ‘Light Phone’ (smart dumb phone) for a few months last year, and that one really backfired. I actually just ended up with two phones. I ended up keeping an old smart phone on hand when I really needed it for directions and music in sessions, and would only connect to wifi. Apparently I “needed” it more than I thought I would. Hence ending up with two phones. I do like the Light Phone in theory, I just don’t feel it was designed well.
So my point is, I have had strong intentions for many years to decrease my phone usage and dependence. I went through many other mini experiments that usually didn’t last more than a week.
Until about four months ago…
Yoshua and I started doing a life experiment where we have ‘silent sundays’. No technology and no talking for 24 hours. They have been incredible and worth an entire dedicated post. The biggest shift has been the no technology part, mostly the phone. The silent days have really allowed me to zoom out and see the situation from a different perspective. And well…it’s not good.
For starters, I am seeing how deep the addiction goes. And I feel like I’m on the less extreme side of the spectrum. I barely have any apps, I don’t use it at night/morning, and don’t really use social media much. I still have been noticing a direct correlation with having constant access to my phone and an underlying level of anxiety, ungroundedness, and overwhelm. Even just seeing my phone at a distance after a silent day, I notice the response. I don’t feel like our nervous systems were designed to operate at the speed of technology. I recently started painting, and couldn’t believe how unfamiliar it felt to do something s o o o s l o w !
I also notice on the silent days how often I want to quick look something up. It feels like a slippery downward slope of not being able to think for ourselves and follow our own intuition. It really doesn’t feel like an enjoyable way to live.
I know we all have different lives, so our approach will also be different. If this resonates, I recommend getting really honest with yourself, and assessing what makes the most sense for you. I’ve noticed that humans are masters at justifying anything!
My main takeaways:
Cultivating a balanced relationship with my phone is a skill like anything else. Finding structured ways to practice is essential.
Smartphones are deep addictions, and require consistent awareness, intention, and practice.
Find ways to take baby steps that actually stick. Throwing the baby out with the bathwater and buying a dumb phone is probably not sustainable.
Intention is not enough, a structured commitment is key.
Small habits that have worked for me:
Keeping my phone in a different room when I sleep
Leaving it off for the first few hours in the morning
Turning it off for the night before dinner
Keeping my ringer off (I hate annoying sounds!!)
Turning all notifications off besides the main text/voicemail ones
Having a simple and serene background
Deleting any apps I don’t use on a regular basis from the main screen
Taking email off (this was huge!)
Keeping it tucked away in the same spot when I’m not using it
Not taking it on hikes
Taking almost no pictures (I never did anything with them anyway)
